" Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity" - Simone Weil
It is such an important skill to be able to give our attention to others and also to then receive it back from others; it's an emotional need that is needed to be met to be mentally and physically healthy. So how come we aren't very good at paying attention to ourselves? By learning to recognise your unhelpful thinking styles, yes, we all have them, you will be able to take hold and remind yourself that it's just your thoughts and it may be opinion rather than fact. Because we hear our won negativity so often, we start to believe it and don't stop to check whether the unhelpful voice in our heads is right or not.
Taming it
Control it. Train yourself to question your thinking and recall past experiences that have had positive outcomes. The more you remind yourself of the skills and strengths; been strong, coped and capable, the more you will be able to talk yourself into a calmer mindset.
Catch the unhelpful thought: ' I'm rubbish at this project for work and I know that I'm going to fail'.
Check the thought: Is it justified? What evidence do you have to support the thought. e.g. 'Last time I had this thought someone told me I wasn't on the right track, but I managed in the end to succeed.'
Challenge the thought: What facts are there against the negative thought? Is there a positive thought you can use to challenge it? e.g., ' My supervisor was very positive and shared my progress with the team, praising the attention to detail'.
Change the thought: Is there a more balanced way of thinking about this? e.g. 'I might find these tasks difficult, but I coped last time, got positive feedback and managed it'.
Whatever the thought is that is bothering you, pay attention and practice these steps and put things into different perspective you will decrease anxious thinking.
Affirmations - The Change Work
They are short, positive sentences and they are designed to help you feel calmer, confident and more compassionate towards yourself.
You can say them out loud, to yourself or read them whilst you are getting ready for the day.
The more you repeat the mantra, the more the brain starts to believe it that bit more.
They replace the anxious thoughts with positive affirmations which weakens your negative beliefs.
What you focus on is what you get!
These techniques and practical ideas are types of tools that you would learn and practice in sessions with Emma. Learning about unhelpful thinking and how to catch it, check it, challenge it and change it can be incredibly powerful for people to move forward to reducing anxiety.
Feeling anxious is very common and often the main thing standing in the way to the things that you really want. So be generous to yourself and examine those thoughts!
Thank you for reading!
Love always,
Emma West x
Comments